On Tuesday 16th June 2009, Tubelord played a gig at a venue called The Cellars - a lovely little pub in Eastney, Portsmouth. Ed, Tom and their counterpart/assistant Leam had the pleasure of interviewing Tubelord before their epic gig. The meeting was arranged for 6, however both parties were late due to us getting lost and Tubelord fixing their bank payments, which set everything back a bit. However, several sitting-in-the-road-and-listening-to-soundcheck minutes later, they were welcomed in by the bright Face of Joe, and they felt priviledged as everyone else had to sit in the road still as we headed to Destination: Backstage - the pub's back garden and a couple of plastic chairs. Ed prepared his magical recording devices AKA Creative Zen MP3 players and the interview was GO.
[Ed pulls out folded up scribbled down questions]
Joe: You’re the Artrocker dude! We did this interview with a guy from Artrocker and he just pulled out this shit stained folded up note of paper, and I read it and it just said our names at the top and then it just said the words “summer”, “winter”, “album” and “end”.
Tom: Did you all go to school together? I heard you all went to school with Tim and the guys from Colour [RIP]? How much have these guys had an influence on Tubelord at all? What are the main influences you draw upon when coming up with awesome tunes?
Dave: Right, straight up. The school thing, no, that’s not true.
Sean: We went to school together but we didn’t really know each other.
Dave & Sean: No we didn’t.
Dave: We met on a gay cruise, our dads were all cruising.
Joe: No, we all met at college, we were all in class A and class B.
Dave: We were totally class B.
Ed: At Hamptons last week you put on a pig mask and crawled through the audience wearing tights. Do you feel like you are a lot more confident now than say a year ago? I saw you last June at Joiners with Johnny Foreigner and you weren’t crawling in tights.
Sean: That’s a good point to be fair.
Dave: That is awesome, but you can’t do anything in Joiners, it’s way too hot. I was really bowled over by Venice Ahoy’s performance to be fair so I couldn’t really do anything to top them.
Tom: What’s with the pig mask?
Dave: It’s a George Orwell reference.
Ed: The guy on the shirt, right?
Dave: No that’s Oscar Wilde.
Sean: See, I got those two confused as well. 1984/Gay person.
Joe: Can I wear tights in general? Could one of us be wearing tights? But it’s all like “oi you’re wearing tights, you’re a prick!” but then everyone has a bit of banter and settles down, and it returns to normal conversation.
Dave: And a week later, everyone’s wearing tights, because it’s on Skins.
Joe: You know when your friend grows a moustache and then suddenly a couple of weeks later everyone’s like “yeah I’ve got a moustache”.
Dave: Colour all did that.
Sean: Apart from George.
Dave: Even Colour’s producer has a moustache.
Sean: That was a mean moustache.
Dave: And then there’s a club in Leeds called Moustache!
Joe: I’m jealous of girls, man. I have no upper lip hair.
Dave: I’ve kissed girls with more upper lip hair than you.
Tom: If Tubelord was a record label, what 3 bands would you sign?
Joe: Venice Ahoy, Marina and the Diamonds and Emmy The Great. [Looking into Tom’s camera] But I’m gonna open my mouth and you’re gonna speak them.
Tom: And if you were a record label, which record label would you be?
Sean: Extra Mile.
Dave: Is that just the question what is your favourite label and what are your favourite bands? Essentially it’s Witchita, Bloc Party, The Blood Brothers and Les Savy Fav.
Tom: No but we tried to move away from that stuff.
Dave: But that was essentially the same question. Like what 3 bands do you want to lick out the most?
[LAUGHS OR SOMETHING]
Joe: Hang on, did you say Extra Mile? Extra Mile are rubbish.
Ed: They have Dartz.
Tom: They have Frank Turner.
Sean: They have Lights Action.
Joe: There we go, next question.
Leam: What is it you say at the start of Death Of A Digital Alarm Clock?
Joe: I don’t say anything, it’s Colour’s Alan who screams it.
Leam: O RLY?
Joe: Yeah, he just says the name of the song.
Dave: Why are you listening to that song man? It’s so shit. Grow up.
Ed: Did you know that this is the first Not Ed’s Blog band interview? You’re making history. Would you like to mark the occasion by telling us your favourite Robert Downey Jr. film and why?
Dave: Awh, smooth. SMOOTH!
Sean: Can I put down Ally McBeal even though it’s not a film?
Ed: Is he in it?
Joe: Who’s Robert Downy Jr?
Tom: You don’t know who Robert Downy Jr. is?
Dave: Just say Iron Man. I’m gonna go for…
Sean: No, no! Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
Dave: Awh, that is awesome. But I’m gonna go for A Scanner Darkly cos I think that is a wicked film.
Ed: Isn’t he in that one with, umm…
Dave: Tropic Thunder? Where he’s black? That’s pretty cool!
Tom: Isn’t he in Brazil?
Sean: No, that’s Benicio Del Toro. I just made that up.
Ed: No, that’s Robert De Niro.
Tom: OH YEAH!
Sean: They’re quite different.
Sean: What about the three best Robert Downy Jr. films? Devil’s Advocate, Insomnia and…
Dave: Casino. Is he in that?
Joe: He’s Italian, he must be in that.
Leam: Al Pacino did that.
Sean: Did he? They’re the same person anyway, if we’re honest. He did do Insomnia though, with Robin Williams as a paedophile.
Dave: But that’s a beautiful question, well done.
Ed: You have recently been confirmed for Southsea Fest.
Joe: Yeah, we found out last week. You’re pretty up to date with these questions. The digital age! Yeah we're on the Meat Pie stage.
Dave: We're on Meat Pie? If you were in a meat pie, what vegetable would you be?
Ed: I’d just be a bit of meat.
Dave: Trick question; gravy.
Ed: Anyway, question was, are you looking forward to Southsea Fest?
Ed: Who are you looking forward to seeing?
Joe: To be honest I have no idea who’s playing.
Ed/Tom: Tellison, This Town Needs Guns, Blakfish, Venice Ahoy, Shapes.
Joe: It’d be a lot more exciting if there was someone who I’d been listening to a lot recently who I hadn’t already seen live.
Tom: Beans on Toast?
Sean: They played 2000 trees last year didn’t they?
Joe: Yeah, with Frank Turner.
Tom: Munroe Effect. Do you know them? They’re from around here.
Dave: I’ve heard of them. Who do I wanna see?
Tom: There’s over 170 bands that are playing.
Sean: I could do with watching Tellison again to be honest. It’s been a bit of while since I’ve seen them.
Joe: So yeah, Southsea Fest looks pretty good.
Dave: If you’re asking me what bands I wanna see, I wanna see Mumford & Sons because apparently they’re really good live. I wanna see The Joy Formidable because I think they might be alright live.
Tom: They’re all the rage now apparently.
Joe: All the rage?
Tom: There’s been loads of blog stuff about them in the last two weeks. It’s gone PETCHEW! [raising hand gesture].
Sean: It’s cos they’ve got an album out.
Dave: No, they put it up for free in like February, and it’s taken that long. Free music takes ‘til Tuesday to come out.
Joe: Why did you pick out Southsea Fest to talk about?
Ed: Cos we’re pretty much in Southsea now, it’s only down the road.
Dave: So I was wondering, is it like a big area with built stages or is it just like a venue?
Tom: It’s at venues, Wedgewood Rooms, Edge Of The Wedge.
Dave: What venue has Paul [Meat Pie Promotions] got then?
Ed: You’re playing at The One Eyed Dog, it’s like a student bar.
Dave: The next question is, there’s a band playing tomorrow night at Edge of the Wedge, who is it?
Ed/Tom: Adebisi Shank.
Dave/Joe: Ah, you’re going!
Ed/Tom: No we’re not, we can’t.
Dave/Joe: You should do it.
Joe: They’re only good live.
Dave: Yeah, completely.
Tom: Brontide are playing Southsea fest too.
Dave: Isn’t that the dude from La Roux? Did you know that? Will’s doing session drumming for La Roux.
Joe: THAT’S A ROCK FACT.
Dave: That’s how Brontide can afford their helicopter and sea plane.
Sean: Their sea plane is fucking amazing.
Tom: That’s awesome.
Dave: Yeah Brontide are wicked.
Joe: If you could be any member of Brontide, which one would you be?
Dave: One of their hairs.
Ed: What does a box of words taste like?
Joe: Pizza taste.
Dave: Built in a factory but using original ingredients.
Joe: Ah man we found a packet of crisps and the flavour was called Pizza taste.
Dave: They were actually like Romanian, but the thing is, you can tell that communism has only just left there because they were really proud that it was built, made in a factory with machines to make these crisps, and they’re really proud of that. But also they were proud that it was like a home cooked recipe as well. But it was Pizza taste.
Tom: How did they show you they were so proud?
Dave: In writing. But calling it Pizza taste, it was like PIZZA TASTE and it tasted like Wotsits but not as flavourful, more like packing foam. The thing is, the day we bought them, we were in Cheltenham helping Joe move out of uni and I did actually do a headstand in a box of packing foam, and if you had poured in the pizza taste ones, I wouldn’t have known the difference.
Ed: So, pizza taste.
Joe: HAHA, he’s just written down pizza taste, not your story. That was a complete waste of time, we may as well have done an online interview, it’s just gonna be that.
Leam: What’s the best gig of your lives? One that you’ve been to, and a Tubelord one.
Dave: A Tubelord gig and one that we’ve been to?
Sean: I haven’t been to quite a few Tubelord gigs.
Dave: Did you know though, before he joined, he was our biggest fan. He used to come to all of our gigs. But now his mum’s our biggest fan.
Tom: Did you have a commitment ritual?
Sean: Yeah they pretty much just raped me a little bit.
Dave: We played in Manchester with The Mae Shi. If you’ve ever been to this venue called The Deaf Institute - basically it’s the attic of a deaf institute, which is kind of a lecture theatre. Imagine the inside of a pyramid made of wood, so the sound is perfect, it was basically a small lecture theatre. Pretty small. We played there and the sound was incredible, at the end of ’I Am Azzerad’, like the “i’ll kill today, ill kill you Azerrad” like literally; I’m not joking it sounded like we were playing at a stadium. There was like 5 people singing along but the point was that it sounded to us like so many people were loving it, and me and Joe came off stage and we were like AHH. But other than that Brighton the other night. Brighton’s normally a bit hit or miss and then the other night it was mental. Just broken glass everywhere. And Oxford the other night. Basically when kids know how to drink the right amount - there’s drinking until you throw up and there’s drinking until you nearly throw up. You throw up after us, then you’re gonna be a good crowd but if you throw up before us then you’re just gonna go home.
Joe: There’s the shows we always do at the end of the year with Colour which obviously we’re not gonna do this year. You know we did that January tour at the start of the year with Colour and Calories, that tour was really satisfying simply because we were going out with our friends. That reinstated our faith in being a band.
Dave: That was quite a selfish tour that I think.
Joe: When I saw Deftones at Brixton academy, that was the first time I’d ever had that sort of experience where you look to someone on your right and they’re like “Ah you alright man?” “Yeah I’m alright!” “Sweet!”. That sort of thing like collective positivity. That was pretty special.
Dave: That almost happened the other night at Cursive in Leeds, I kept on going “how sick is this?” and he [Joe] was like “fuck off I’m watching Cursive leave me alone” - no positivity there at all, you [Joe] ruined that for me.
Sean: That was the best gig of my year, that was so fun.
Dave: Can I say Latitude Festival last summer cos that was like 100 good gigs over 3 days.
Ed: Why not!
Joe: "Why not, we’re not actually gonna transcribe it"
Dave: We’re just gonna write…
Sean: PIZZA TASTE MATE, PIZZA TASTE.
Tom: What is the best gig of your life? Pizza Taste?
Joe: When’s the album out? Pizza Taste?
Tom: Is it gonna be called Pizza Taste?
Tom: There’s two album names floating around.
Dave: We have a choice now? Let’s do a vote, put it to the English public. What’re our options?
Tom: Our First American friends and The Library Of Fools.
Dave: Oh really? I see how that came about...
Sean: It’s Pizza Taste.
Tom: You do realise if we type that up there’ll be a lot of people going around saying “ITS PIZZA TASTE!”
Ed: We’re gonna start an internet rumour about it.
Sean: Oh please do. NEW ALBUM OUT: PIZZA TASTE DECEMBER 2010!
Dave: I’ll tell you what though Sean, the whole idea of doing the fake leak with a wrong name - if we confirm in this blog that the right name is the wrong name, then the one that we leak that isn’t actually our album then…
Joe: We were gonna leak Blakfish’s album...
Ed: Did you see it already got leaked?
Sean: Yeah I well downloaded it.
[LULZ ALL AROUND]
Sean: Yeah but then I gave it back.
Ed: Gave it back to the Internet.
Tom: The person responsible who leaked it has been arrested.
Sean: Was it that DV8 person?
Tom: Yeah, DV8.
Sean: ‘Cos that’s really pissing me off, I was like “ah they’re gonna fucking leak our album!”.
Dave: So she just gets sent everything? Does she suck dick for music?
Joe: How did you find out?
Tom: I know someone who talks to her.
Sean: Can we visit her in jail and bum her a bit?
Tom: The BPI is investigating her or something...
Sean: The British Petroleum Industry?
Dave: No way, petrol’s fucking everywhere.
Tom: She’s on bail.
Dave: WHAT’S FOR DINNER? [Dave smelt something]
Dave: Can we start a ‘get her out of jail’ thing?
Dave: “SAVE TAMZYN!”
Dave: You should’ve seen us at Sellidge Festival in Kent the other day! We were like “I don’t have any music for sale but if you go to this website then you can get it all for free, or buy it online, if you’re an idiot.”
Tom: There is someone who says they’ve heard your album.
Tom: Someone on some forum...
Sean: Oh the bloke on Last.Fm? Some tool on Last.Fm says he’s heard it but it’s not him.
Dave: We have played the album to a couple of people - promos have gone out.
Leam: So, being an independent musical band group...
Dave: WE’RE AN INDEPENDENT MUSICAL BAND GROUP? OH MAN I FUCKING LOVE THAT.
Sean: Can I read the rest of that?
“Being an independent musical band group, sales must be something you probably value, but in this day and age file sharing can have a big impact on this. What impact does the internet, its blogs, MP3s and Myspace pages had on Tubelord?
Dave: I’ll tell you what, that question is completely null and void because we haven’t sold any music over the internet, BSM [Big Scary Monsters] have, and do you think we’ve ever seen a single penny from BSM? He put up all our tunes on iTunes ages ago and keeps saying he’ll give it to us but never does.
Tom: What about the Huw Stephens thing? [Music Sounds Better With Huw]
Dave: We don’t know about that.
Joe: We only get about 7p a song.
Dave: It’s the thought that counts, it’s the fact that you’re not downloading it.
Tom: I only bought the Tubelord song from the Huw Stephens compilation, I should buy it all really.
Dave: Mate, for a fiver you’d be an idiot not to, like how many good bands are on it? It’s really good. Or I’ll just send you the link.
Leam: Not Ed’s Blog has some awesome German indie kid readers, would you mind sharing some musical recommendations with them and us?
Joe: German indie kids? Wow.
Dave: Tell them The Notwist, that will blow their minds.
Dave: Sonic Youth.
Sean: David Hassellhoff.
Joe: Yeah Yeah Yeah’s.
Sean: Regina Spector.
Joe: reGINA Spector, hehehe.
Dave: Tell them to listen to Sam Isaac, his album is awesome.
Sean: Luke Leighfield!
Dave: Sean hates Sam Isaac but me and Joe love his album. But he [Sean] can’t stand it and then he’ll go “OH YEAH LUKE LEIGHFIELD” but he’s just awful.
Sean: I watched his Russian tour diary and at the end I was like YOU’RE REALLY ARROGANT.
Dave: He ruined my birthday.
Joe: Aurora Alberta Advantage.
Dave: Dark Mean.
Joe: Picture Books In Winter and Josh Ritter.
Dave: And The Mae Shi obviously.
Ed: You played with them [The Mae Shi] and Abe Vigoda in London in May, what was that like?
Dave: Not as good as Manchester.
Dave: And Birmingham too.
Tom: Are they cool dudes?
Joe: Yeah The Mae Shi are well sound and so are Abe Vigoda.
Dave: They’ve got really different perspectives, but American music is about 10 years ahead, so they’re kinda like Yoda’s - they’re really wise.
Joe: They’re completely different though; Abe Vigoda are like “Thanks very much man, thanks thanks thanks” and The Mae Shi are like “Yeah.”
Dave: But if you get into chat with them it’s weird because obviously we’re massive fans so it was strange like that, but it was also like we got to know them last year and then this year it was like we actually got to know them properly and play a few shows, and outside Birmingham just as they were about to leave and go off to Europe, we had proper deep chats and hugs and it was like “aw they actually like us this is so cool” and then they gave us loads of their 7”s and we felt really rich, like “wow, we can put these on eBay!”. But it was cool chatting to Bill? The bassist I think? Cos he was like “It’s completely different to how it is in England, like here you’re in your main band and that’s it and you’re really poor and you do it the whole time and you accept the fact that you never have any money”, But he also said “In America, The Mae Shi, the royalties from that basically pay for me to be in other bands”, and pay his rent cos it's really cheap where he lives, and then the rest of the time when he’s not in The Mae Shi he just plays in all these other bands with his mates and just pisses about as a musician.
Tom: So after you’ve dominated The Top 40 and toured your album around the universe, what do you plan to do?
Joe: Totally gonna happen.
Dave: Recruit Phil Collins as a song writer.
Joe: We have a sick poster of him in the van. His trousers are basically towels, with zip pockets, and he’s got a brandy.
Tom: That is a Royal Mail post van right?
Dave: Yeah yeah yeah.
Leam: Yeah, we could see it’s got the stickers steamed off.
Joe: Yeah, shut up.
Dave: Like anyone can afford a new one of them! They’re like tens of thousands of pounds.
Joe: We’ve given ourselves an aim though; to have the second album written and ready to record upon the release of the first album. So this summer is going to be writing. We’re already two songs done.
Tom: So is it [the debut album] coming out in the summer?
Dave: No, you don’t release albums in the summer, that’s the golden rule.
Joe: Yeah, apparently in the music industry you don’t release albums in the summer because it’s festival season.
Dave: ...and journalists are too busy getting drunk, like they are the rest of the year, but apparently having a hangover and a sunburn is not a good time to write reviews, whereas having just a hangover is fine to write a review.
Ed: When are you releasing it? [the debut album]
Joe: October I think.
Dave: Pencilled in for 5th October.
Ed: What label are you releasing it on?
Joe: We’re not sure yet. We’re in the long form process, which means they send you a short form, and then it extends to a long form.
Dave: The short form is literally a page and goes “We would like to release your album. These are the terms” and goes “it will be for four albums” and all these things. And then the two lawyers look at each other and they have a little staring contest and whoever loses has to buy the other lunch. And then from that they make an 80 page contract, which they get paid loads of money to write.
Joe: But you’ll know very soon, within the next week who we’re releasing it on.
The rest of this conversation consisted of Tom talking about his home-made Mika Miko glasses and a bit more about pizza taste. Then we went to the corner shop to buy sweets.
Also, I took some pictures at the gig, one of them is the one at the top, which is
MP3: Tubelord - Obstacles