Wednesday, December 23, 2009

TEENAGE HANGOVER PRESENTS: THE ALTEST XMAS SONGS


Year after year hipsters everywhere cringe at the sound of badly-done covers of 'We Wish You A Merry Christmas' and 'Christmas Time' as they pass by their local Sports Direct.com convenience stores and catch a glimpse of 'Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer' as they attend their nan's traditional Christmas gatherings, pulling shitty crackers and pretending to care about their distant cousins. But now, faith in the festive season can be restored: there's no need to hold in the urge to sing when 'I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day' plays and there's no need to become a Jehovah's witness ironically; because presented right here is a list of the altest xmas tunes you will ever hear. It's like that Rage Against the Sellouts campaign, except against Wizard. You know what I mean.

10. Julian Casablancas - I Wish It Was Christmas Today

So Julian realised that it's too late to bring back The Strokes (well, I guess he didn't) and decided to scoot off solo and record a Christmas single. Isn't that great? Although fairly embarrassing to listen to for the hipster because of it's catchy melody and pretty bland lyrics (as well as the fact it's simply Julian Casablancas), it works out as one of the more 'likeable' Christmas songs this year. At least it's better than John Lennon.

9. The Flaming Lips - Christmas at the Zoo

You can't get much alter than spending your Christmas Day at the zoo. The Flaming Lips make it sound fun anyway. I'd do it myself if I could find one open. Seriously, I'd recommend giving it a try. You could just hang with the animals and dress them in Santa hats, and if they have reindeers you could role-play! It's also a pretty Grandma-incompatible tune, which is a plus.

8. Sufjan Stevens - We Three Kings

Having never listened to SS before, I do not know what to make of this. Feel like it captures the spirit of the nativity story, and mixes it with the American singer-songwriter from Detroit format, to come up with something that could be broadcast on an alt version of Songs of Praise, or blogged about on a relevant hipster gossip (hossip?) website such as Pedestrian.TV. Keep on truckin SS.

7. Death Cab for Cutie - Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)

The snow's coming down
I'm watching it fall

This one is perfect, because it has the sheer cringefactor that the usual Christmas song suspects have, yet it's by Death Cab for Cutie. So it kind of is and isn't alt. I guess it's alt, because it's bad? I think that's how it works. BAD, GOOD TUNE.

6. Cutting Pink With Knives - Merry Fucking Christmas, You Spineless Fuck

These bros tell it like it is. And I guess they have a lot to say, because this song is 10 minutes long. Sounds like a really fucking angry version of Animal Collective. But seriously, why is this so long? Is this their post-rock christmas song? Are there any post-rock christmas songs? Should I get into post-rock? Should I get into post-coital depression instead?

5. Fucked Up - Do They Know It's Christmas?

If Bob Mould asks you to feed the world, you do it. Bob Mould for President 2K12.

4. Blakfish - Merry Fucking Xmas

By far the best Christmas themed Blakfish song. Although I'm not even sure the lyrics are about Christmas, so not sure if it counts as a Christmas song, this would have probably been a more relevant video to put in this count down; Missing You: The True Meaning Of Christmas. Check out those solos and the drummer's voice, what the hell is up with that.


3. caP'n Jazz - Winter Wonderland

Sorry about the creepy video. There's some insane videos from the same guy on his profile. Check out this one. At first he's jammin about pine trees, then it's like a day in the life of a tree salesman.

2. Paul Baribeau - Christmas Lights

This has to be one of the most genuine, heartfelt Christmas songs of all time. And I actually enjoy it. I hear the cry of hispters everywhere: "HE ENJOYS A CHRISTMAS SONG!" "TAKE AWAY HIS LICENSE TO ALT!" - but guiz, relax... listen to the beautiful sound of Paul Baribeau and all your Christmas worries will go away. Or appear. Depending on how you interpret it.

1. Jona Lewie - Stop the Cavalry

I saw this play on the telly today. In fact, it inspired me to write this post. You cannot get any more alt than this Christmas song. It's post-punk, and it has trumpets, and it's about war. It's the Wacky Warehouse equivalent of irony. It's amazing. I like it. I think it's pretty okay.

So what are your favourite Christmas songs to be alt to? Do you consider Christmas to be 'mainstream'? What is the Christmas fashion item of the decade? Post in the comments, guiz. And happy fucking Christmas.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Lovvers/Male Bonding @ Cowley Club


Too late to be an album review, so it's now a gig review. A couple of weeks ago I went to Brighton to see Lovvers and Male Bonding. The gig took place at the hip hangout The Cowley Club. Seemed like the Brighton version of The Smell or something. I got the impression it's like a secret club when there's not a gig there, and they have a book section and they have food available on thursday evenings. Only thursday evenings. The venue had loads of naked barbies hanging from the ceiling too, and I'm pretty sure I was stood next to the Blood Red Shoes drummer.


The Human Race kicked shit off by creeping everyone with a constant high pitched feedback noise which didn't stop at all, on top of some sweet lo-fi post-punk jams. The vox dude stood in the audience doing his spoken word like he was not in the band and walked around staring at the floor. They were actually pretty good except for said feedback, it hurt a bit.


After not much waiting around at all, Male Bonding came along, fiddled about with some really echoy microphones and started. They seemed to play a lot of songs, i knew about half of them. A lot of people seemed to dig them. I overheard the guy next to me saying that all he knew about Male Bonding was that they were signed to Subpop. I guess it's a good thing that they signed to them, as they are now a discussion point, or something. They were also pretty tight, unlike a lot of other lo-fi noisepop bands, who just seem to wing it. They always seem to have some cool screen printed merch. I picked up a tote bag.


Another short wait and Lovvers were off, vocalist Sean fell around in front of me and pushed himself backwards into the crowd and did a little crowd surfing. They were admittedly a little more messy than Male Bonding, I noticed quite a few mistakes but it was FUN. I was hoping that the singer would do some of the creepy YEEEEEAHs he did at the end of every song at Reading this year (I didn't go, I just saw on the videos), but he didn't. Not much else to say about Lovvers except they were awesome.

MP3: Male Bonding - Nothing Will Change (Live)
MP3: Lovvers - Society Jam

BUY: Male Bonding/Fair Ohs - Split Live Tape
BUY: Lovvers - OCD GO GO GO GIRLS 12" via Norman Records

Monday, October 5, 2009

Maths - Descent


Maths are a band I have adored for years now, I have followed them as they slowly progressed into the band they are now. Last year they released a much acclaimed split EP with Throats which brought them to the public's attention, they even gained a feature in NME putting them firmly in the “bands to watch out for” section for anyone who likes decent music. However after the release of the EP, a tour and a bunch of spread out dates over the country the band seemed to disappear into the woodwork, apparently determined to finish university/ other boring life stuff. After a few months of inactivity the band announced they were writing for their first full-length, something which had me jumping over the moon. The band opted to go the full DIY route and record it all themselves which only attracts me more to the record.

The album itself is a grower. I've only had it in my hands for a few days now but it hasn't stopped playing in my ears since then. Every time I listen to it I understand and enjoy it more. From the harrowing volume swells of the opening few bars of the first track “Belief In Sorrow” to the sobering piano melodies that introduce the closing track “Belief In Hope” I believe Maths' latest offering “Descent” is simply the best thing to happen to screamo in a long time. The record doesn't stop between songs and is better heard as a whole rather than the 12 separate tracks, that way you can hear how the album progresses and how the songs intertwine. Compared to the EP, musically ,you can hear some definite progression, conceptually-the EP is no comparison. The heavy parts are heavier, the melodic parts are more melodic and you will undoubtedly have certain phrases of songs stuck in your head for ages. The guitar work is a lot more proficient, it's still the frenetic chords sliding all over the fretboard and the drumming is even more chaotic yet still regimented. The thing that makes this album for me and what makes it a step up from the split EP is that it's so much more than just techy-screamo, it's unbelievably epic as well. Tracks like “To Be Frozen” and “Branches” have a certain quality to them that makes the hairs on your arm stand up and make you truly fall for the band.

“Descent” certainly does live up to expectations and I genuinely hope it takes them far especially as it has an appeal to far more than just a screamo audience. This one hasn't even hit the shops yet but I'm excited for any future releases. It comes out on Holy Roar Records on the 9th of November, until then you can hear a couple of tracks from the album on their Myspace and make sure you check out their dates as well!

MP3: Maths - Boundless
BUY: Maths - Descent CD for £7

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Southsea Fest 2009


You've probably read all about this on all the other blogs, but it just looks so good, I can't help but write about it. It's an all day, multi-venue festival taking place down Albert Road, Southsea (Portsmouth) on 19th September (next Saturday).

Essentially, there are two awesome stages. A couple of the other stages have a couple of good bands but really, the places to be are The One Eyed Dog for Meat Pie Promotions' stage and the Edge of the Wedge for Awesome Noise's stage. As you can on the flyer see above, Meat Pie's stage hosts Tubelord, Tellison, The Xcerts and loads of other great bands. There's also gonna be some Meat Pie Southsea fest fanzines available too, all with free CD. Edge of the Wedge's stage hosts Blakfish, This Town Needs Guns, The Tupolev Ghost and a load of other good bands. Edge of the Wedge's stage apparently finishes a couple of hours before Meat Pie's stage, so hopefully yr favourite headliners won't be clashing.

There are hundreds of other bands playing, so it's definitely worth the tiny entry fee, which you exchange for a wristband which gains you entry to all the venues.

Tickets cost £8 for child and £12 for adult if you buy them before, get them here. Or you can get them on the door for £15.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Rapturefest 3 Review

On 15th August, Rapture Promotions put on an awesome gig in Reading for the 3rd year in a row. This is the review. Dig it.

After getting off a completely packed out train to Reading, we wandered around following an obviously outdated map, which told us that The Face Bar was right in the middle of a block of flats. It wasn't. Then we spotted a girl in a Beatcast shirt so followed her hoping she would lead us to the venue (the whole event was being filmed by them) but turns out she was just going to get some food. Then we spotted a guy in a Tired Irie shirt, so we joined forces and found our venue. When we got there we were still early, and only a few of the bands were there, still getting stuff out of their cars.

After a bit of waiting outside or something we got in and Pharaohs started. They were okay, but their songs need some more lyrics I think, they seem to use a lot of the same lines. Also, I was confused by the frontman's jeans, they looked slightly tie-dyed and I couldn't quite tell if they were leggings.
7.2/10

Next up was Instruments (Make Music). If you've read this blog before then you might know that this band were written about briefly before here, so I was definitely looking forward to seeing them. And they didn't disappoint, they played a set consisting of a couple of songs from their self-titled EP and a couple of new ones. I was staring at both guitarists as they did things with their fingers I could only dream of. The drummer was pretty impressive. Bassist was great too, didn't want to leave her out. She looked nice too. I'm sad my photos of them didn't come out well. Or at all. Amazing band.
8.6/10


[Photo of Talons by me]

Hereford Six piece Talons followed. See Tom's post on them here. They impressed my friends who hadn't heard them before with their unique brand of epic post-rock/violins combo, and impressed those who had heard of them before. Their set ended with the guitarist jumping off the stage and falling around a bit, which I really wasn't expecting him to do but I still managed to get a photo of him. I would've bought one of their 7"s if only it wasn't £4. That's just too much for a 7". Who else remembers when HMV used to do those 'All 3 formats for £4' or whatever it was? They were good.
7.9/10

By this point we were a bit hungry so we trecked off down to Burger King and had some Whopper meals. Best thing about Whoppers is that they have 4 gherkins in them. When we got back we realised we had missed On Histories Of Rosenburg, and we were a bit sad because they sounded interesting, but at least we had eaten. Although when we got back in there, Hold Your Horse Is were playing, and we really wished we'd timed our eating so that we missed them instead. I thought they might've been okay, considering they were named after a Hella album, but they just seemed a big weak, and the bassist was wearing tracksuit bottoms which confused me a bit, and after about 3 seconds of their first song his bass strap fell off which made him look even more silly. Not great, sorry.
6.6/10


[Photo of Brontide @ Edge of the wedge, Portsmouth by me]

Brontide's set was plagued with technical difficulties that included loop pedals that wouldn't stop looping and basses that wouldn't start working. They still powered on, and the guitarist did his creepy nodding thing he does when he plays, and everyone nodded along with him. Having seen this band so many times now, I'm getting a little tired of the same setlist, a couple of new songs would be nice, but excluding what damage the tech problems caused, a good performance.
7.6/10

If this line up so far looks a little different to the flyer you saw around the internet, that's because about 6 of the bands ended up dropping out for one reason or another. The next band was one of the more pleasing replacements to me; Cats And Cats And Cats. Having never really given them a proper listen, seeing them at this gig really persuaded me to give them another go. They had a real twee indie pop vibe to them which was completely different to what i had imagined. Their violinist looked about 14 too, just another confusing thing about this day.
7.5/10

Danish band Mimas were the first of the two foreign bands playing, playing in a timeslot unofficially branded the foreign hour. I'd never really listened to them much before and never really registered the fact that they were a BSM band and I guess this was when i realised they're a really odd band to be on the label, but they sat nicely in the middle of a bunch of mathy bands as everyone seemed to dig the bouncy post-rock tunes. I hate the word tunes. But saying songs sounds a bit boring. Eh.
7.9/10

The second foreign band were Mutiny on the Bounty of Luxembourg. I'd seen them before and they were impressive so this was a bit of a treat. They did their mathy post-hardcore stuff which was a bit too loud for a few people, and it was pretty loud but if you know the songs then I guess loud music is good. The guitarist was really happy, probably because he was a bit drunk. Most of the bands were drinking a bit by this point, this dude was probably the happiest/drunkest. He was wearing a cowboy hat for a bit and another one of them was wearing a transformers mask. Dunno why.
8/10


[Photo of Shapes/Blakfish dude by me]

Shapes followed, I'd seen them the previous week on their tour with Brontide. They were energetic and explosive, mathy and intricate, etc etc. The dude with the beard from Blakfish did vox in one of their songs, see the photo above. Another photo of Shapes here. They played their new song from the BSM/Holy Roar split, but i'd still seen that exact set a week before, would've been nice for something a little different? Maybe I was just tired from standing around so much. Getting very excited for Blakfish by this point.
7.7/10

I was pessimistic about Youves; I liked them when they were Mirror! Mirror!, and had listened to their mini-album under the new name and wasn't sure about the change. But from what I saw of their set, they looked like they had a good time. The singer knew he was attractive and seemed to want everyone to know by dancing in the crowd with his shirt off. There was this really good moment where there was a pause in the music and he stamped on a balloon behind the audience. I didn't even realise he was there until he did it.
7.4/10


[Photo of Great Eskimo Hoax by me]

By the time Great Eskimo Hoax came on, a lot of people were leaving. I spotted the singer from This Town Needs Guns in the audience, was pretty cool that even though they weren't playing he still came along. GEH were really gentle and relieving, a bit of an odd thing to listen to before Blakfish. I really liked how I didn't know any of the songs they played, it made me pay a bit more attention I guess. I picked up a 7" they were selling. It cost £3, okay. It's from a couple of years ago, a split with a band called The Cape Of Good Hope, and they sound really good, which was a really nice surprise. Email me some of their songs please bros.
7.9/10


[Photo of Blakfish by me]

Whoever was still around for Blakfish were really hyped, and you could tell. They came on, the two front men obviously pretty drunk at this point. I'm guessing the skinny guy is a bit of an angry drunk. He had a go at everyone for staying around and when checking his tuning, simply strummed really hard and was like "That sounds like it's in fucking tune, doesn't it!". They only played about 6 songs from their debut album Champions, but they were all awesome. Loads of people singing along to pretty much all the songs, mostly on the amazingly titled 'Jeremy Kyle Is A Marked Man'. At one point the angry skinny guy got on his knees and pretended to suck off the dude next to me, for about a minute, got a bit weird. Later on, both guitarists attached sparklers to the end of their guitars, the dude next to me picked one of them up and held it in my face, that was annoying. Both their guitars seemed to get broken, at one point one the bearded guy's guitar completely went and one of their friends put another guitar in front of the guitar that he was already playing and put the strap on. Then he just kinda jumped on a table and had about 7 people playing his guitar.


[Photo of Blakfish by me]

The skinny dude was bleeding all over his vest by this point, and was like "Who wants some of my blood? If anyone wants any of my blood, come and see me afterwards". This show was messy. They ended on 'Ringo Starr - 2nd Best Drummer In The Beatles', with everyone chanting "it could be worse, you could be dead, I don't know how we survived but all I know is we did". It was a nice ending to an awesome gig, and everyone left the venue worrying about how they were gonna get home having stayed on and missed their last train home.
9.4/10

All my photos from the gig here.

MP3: Mutiny On The Bounty - 1, 2, 3, 4, I Declare a Thumb War
BUY: Mutiny On The Bounty - Danger Mouth CD

MP3: Youves - On Probation
BUY: Youves - Cardio-Vascular CD

MP3: Blakfish - Scotland's Worst Invention
BUY: Blakfish - Champions 12" or CD.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

An open plea to buy the debut of the year


Hi, I'm David West; I'm 19 years old, I'm a student and I've spent the last year of my life pissing away my Gran's inheritance on alcohol and pizza. Above are The xx, they're 19 years old and have spent the last year making one of the most important debut albums of the last couple of years. Considering they're not a lo-fi punk band with not a single chequered shirt to be seen, I'm a bit surprised I like them. I can't say I'm a big fan of the whole knobbly knee-ed Shoreditch goth look. Luckily their music is like nothing I've heard before.

W. Overstreet once said that it was important to "acknowledge the beauty of sparseness". He was talking about autumn but could easily have been talking about The xx. The space within their music is one of their defining features and one of the things that just makes them so special. Bringing a bit of Young Marble Giants into the 21st century was definitely a decision well made. Fuck it.

You would not believe how many times I have written, cursed, rewritten, deleted then came back 3 days later and tried to carry on writing this post. I wasn't blessed with great use of language and this is my excuse for the shortcomings in this post. I haven't managed to write anything that comes close to conveying how The xx make me feel. I will not even try. See through the insufferable hype and listen for yourself. This is an instruction, not a piece of advice.

MP3: The xx - VCR
BUY: The xx - The xx CD or 12" vinyl

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Pulled Apart By Horses @ The Cellars


On Monday 10th August 2009 at about 7.09pm, after Ed had just finished trying to jam on a guitar that was hurting his fingers, I said to Ed "hey Ed, let's go to Pulled Apart By Horses now because it's nearly 7.10' and we said bye to Buddy the cat who has some pretty nasty mental issues, due to my Arnold Schwangnigger impressions. Sorry Buddy.

When we arrived at The Cellars at approximately 7.35pm Ed 'had a go' at me because we were 'early'. "OH TOMW WE ARE ALWAYS EARLY TO GIGS" he cried. "OH TOMW WHY ARE YOU SUCH A HOMO?" Well, Ed, this time YOU WERE WRONG. As was clearly stated to us by Mr. Cellars, the owner of The Cellars at Eastney, a rather dashing venue in central Portsmouth and to the right a bit that was recently featured in the local evening news appealing to the general public to "come the fuck down and buy some beer", doors opened at HALF SEVEN. Fucktard.

Mr. Cellars soon spotted us and kept saying "DON'T WORRY GUYS! we're opening any minute now!" Eventually he said "we're opening in 10 seconds!" but it took a further 10 seconds after that. During this time we were the only dudes there, but then RIGHT ON CUE 2/3 of Mammoth! Mammoth! turned up and they stood behind us, fearing our presence. However we quickly joined them when PABH's Tom and Lee and hot girl walked past like they were celebrities or something. They just kind of stared and walked on by because they are PUNK ROCK like that.


[Photo of Chav/Punk band by Tom]

Once inside we bought Cokes and prepared our cameras for the amazing spectacle we expected ahead of us. The first band came on very soon after being told to 'get off the stage' by some guy several minutes earlier. It was at this point I was completely FUCKED IN THE MIND. First thing, they didnt even tell us their band name. Second thing, it was fronted by 2 chavs in some funny t-shirts and tracksuit bottoms and kswiss trainers with chains. Oh, and their guitarist was a 1970s Ramones fanboy straight out of a time machine. Like WHAT IS UP WITH THIS. Me and Ed laughed constantly throughout their set which included bad covers of Beastie Boys - Fight For Your Right and Rage Against The Nachine - Sleep Now In The Fire. It's like they learnt the freaking songs off Guitar Hero. The dude next to me said 'Hey! This is my favourite song in GH!' and at this point I lost faith in humanity and took a picture. Hopefully it'll come out bad and I can forget this part ever happened.


[Photo of Villiers Terrace by Ed]

Next up were Villiers Terrace. Now, after seeing this other band my head was already raped and these guys just added to the rapeness, but in a kinda good way. Their bassist was completely frozen in time, taking shoegaze to A WHOLE NEW LEVEL. Like he didnt even blink. I think the front guy was on crystal meth and I believe he is Miles Baker's lost cousin twice removed, because DAMN this guy looked like Miles Baker, and holy shit did he spazz out. He kept rolling his eyes around and diving into a door that nobody was even using and then at the end of every song they would just stand and drip sweat everywhere and then make up a new song. Seriously I think they formed like a month ago and just made up all their songs there and then. I did enjoy it to some extent though, it was definitely an experience.

The next band, Hold Fast, had a really hot girl in it, so me and Ed took pics. Musically I thought they were gonna just burst into some kind of Rolo Tomassi half-covers, but they decided to go all synthy and poppy and sometimes semi-scream down a megaphone. There was a dude in a girls blouse and silver eyeliner and another dude who was a blonde Patrick Wolf idolizer. I didn't really get it. To be honest, it was rubbish, in fact it was rubbish ever since the girl sang and didn't just jump into some radcore skramz shoutfest blowout. And anyway by this point all anyone cared about was PULLED APART BY RAPISTS.


[Photo of Pulled Apart By Horses by Tom]

So they came on and James said "HEY PORTSMUFF!" and nobody really said anything back, other than the 3 PABH fanboys who are at literally every gig around getting smashed and trying to make James 'do a barrel roll' (to which he does, by spazzing his head about). James said 'who likes high fives' and I said YEAH and put my hand out and we kinda like... just felt each others hands up. One of us killed the moment and I am pretty sure it was me. James you cunt (<3). But anyway, they played a sweet set bros, as you can imagine they tore shit up. They stood on stools, they crawled on the floor, they kind of ate a banana and then James threw it at the barrel roll dudes who took a bite and threw it back. People were kind of rocking out but there were too many hipsters around who just kind of nod their heads like 'yeah bro I am TOTALLY feeling this shit' but me and Ed were just at the front taking snaps and METAPHORICALLY MOSHING. It was rad.

After playing new songs 'We Shit Hits' and 'Back To The Fuck Yeah', PABH played their last song everybody cares about 'hey guys I think we just punched that lion in it's throat (is it okay do you think?)'. I felt this song was pretty good. But it wasn't cool when they just left, I swear something at The Cellars makes the band think 'oh fuck. We've played TOOO MUCH. RUN AWAY NOW' and they just leg it out the back door. I don't get it? Oh well.

In conclusion PABH are a pretty cool band and you should see them sometime as long as it doesn't cost 8 pounds sterling because I feel cheated by the Beastie Boys.

MP3: Pulled Apart By Horses - E=MC Hammer
BUY: Pulled Apart By Horses - Tour Traxx EP CD

More photos from the gig

Friday, August 7, 2009

Wavves moved house


Nathan Williams doesn't wanna leave home because he has something at the back of his brain. Ooooh oooh oooh oooooh oooooh. Although if home was what "Wavves" and "Wavvves" sounded like, he's already packed up his polaroid camera, stash of weed and favourite plaid shirt and gone. Looks like he's moved right next door to Animal Collective too. Maybe he's even sharing an apartment with them. That would've been some house-warming party.

His theoretical new housemates must have influenced his new song "Mickey Mouse", cos it sounds like AnCo were playing a new song in their bedroom whilst Wavves was singing in the bath on top of their beats, fuzzed up through the walls, unknowingly recording it all somehow. Is he being ironic? Or is he (so) bored of his previous sound? We'll have to wait and see what happens.

MP3: Wavves - Mickey Mouse
BUY: Wavves - Wavvves 12"

Sunday, August 2, 2009

An open plea not to buy Humbug


So in case you didn't know, Arctic Monkeys' third album leaked earlier this week and although I haven't downloaded it I know from the 30 seconds I've heard of 'Crying Lighting' that I'd probably gain greater pleasure sticking a cheese grater up my arse and bopping down a hill on a space hopper than hearing the rest of the album. Don't get me wrong, I used to be as keen as any other young 16 year old boy to jump to the defence of Alex Turner and his pals, but they've let me down. "But they've gone in a darker direction" wail the fanboys with their cocks firmly still up Turner's arse. Since when has the definition of 'darker' been slowing your songs down to a mind-numbingly boring tempo and singing lyrics so metaphorically shit that he may as well be fapping into the microphone?

So the vibe you should be picking up from the above paragraph is come 24th August, purchasing Humbug should be the last thing on your mind. But OH NO! What will you do with that extra £10 you were going to finance Turner's cocaine habit with? Well, how about you take that money and spend it on the giant car boot sale-come-record shop that is Amazon Marketplace. Here is a list of ten - yes, ten! - albums that you can get for the same price.

Sonic Youth - Dirty - 63p
Forget Daydream Nation, forget Goo and forget Confusion Is Sex if you're one of those "I liked the earlier material", Dirty is Sonic Youths' best album!

XX Teens - Welcome To Goon Island - £1.11
They seemed to play every festival going last year and that probably makes them feel a little better about the fact people are selling their album so cheaply only a couple of months after it was released.

Hot Club De Paris - Drop It 'Till It Pops - £1
A completely essential album, most underrated album of 2006 without a doubt. Still get shivers every time I hear 'Hello I Wrote A Song For You Called "Welcome To The Jungle"'.

Elle Milano - Acres Of Dead Space Cadets £1.49
If DITIP was the most underrated album of 2006 the same can be said for Elle Milano's debut for 2008, maybe that's why they've both been relegated to the Internet bargain bin.

Pulp - Different Class - 92p
The only way to party like it's 1995 on a budget of 92p. If you've got a bit of a bigger budget for 1995 nostalgia, try Elefun

At The Drive In - Relationship Of Command - £1.69
If you haven't got this, well... Go stick your cock firmly back up Alex Turner's arse.

Blur - The Great Escape - 98p
With their recent comeback gigs, what better way to remind yourself of when they were a lot more exciting than gathering some penny's together and buying this?

Grandaddy - The Sophtware Slump - £1.28
Probably the most obscure album on this list, and another massively underrated band. Pavement'esque college rock. Brooooooken Houseeeeeeehold Appliance.

Help She Can't Swim - The Death Of Nightlife - 94p
Someone recently said "aren't you a bit too old to be listening to them?"
I said "FUCK YOU. If I feel like listening to HSCS and feeling like I'm having a 13 year old girl's tantrum... I will!"

Wheatus - S/T - 1p
Yes 1p! Worth it just for the nostalgic rush of hearing "A Little Respect". Fuck "Teenage Dirtbag" - that was just an anthem for middle class teenage girls who gave their boyfriends blow jobs in the toilets at the school disco.

Total - £10.05

MP3: Sonic Youth - Youth Against Fascism
MP3: Hot Club de Paris - Hello, I Wrote a Song for You Called "Welcome to the Jungle"

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Lautrec


It's time to get rad and it doesn't get much radder than Chicago's Lautrec. Musically, they can be compared to Native - glistening 90s emo-esque guitars, however the drums and vox are where the hardcore side of Lautrec shines through. The lyrics are shouted and screamed in an almost sloppy style over the disjointed yet complex guitar lines and thrashing drums which move from delicate feathering to intense drum-rolls through instant rhythm changes. In the two years they have been around, they've put out split releases with Ghost Towns, Native, Mans. and Lion of the North; pretty much every cool band in the neighbourhood.

I think the best way to describe Lautrec's music would be well organised chaos, constrained but agitated, trimmed into easily consumable 3 minute tunes.
So put them on repeat and as said before, get rad.

MP3: Lautrec - Pushin' For The Cushion
BUY: Pre-order Lautrec - s/t 7" from Communique Records

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Betty Pariso


Hardcore. Does that even mean anything these days? With hundreds of “Hardcore” bands popping up all over the place everyday I have found myself steering clear of trying to find new bands within the Hardcore genre and just sticking to stuff I already know. There's just one band that have recently caught my eye - Betty Pariso. Blending thundering guitars, blisteringly precise drums and fresh vocals they create a ridiculously heavy Botch/Converge style hardcore which gets you thinking and wanting to burn your house down all in one. The band is made up of a few faces you may recognise from past bands including Cutting Pink With Knives, The Defeat, Seducedwomandead, Heroics and Wild Stallions so you know it's going to be awesome.

They recorded three songs with Nick Kinnish down at Serafina Studios in Eastbourne which they plan to release on a split with Manuscripts available digitally and on 7”. If these original recordings are anything to go by Betty Pariso are destined to at least a well respected place within the hardcore scene if not so much more. They already have the gigs rolling in, so go here to check out their listed gigs and more of their tracks.

MP3: Betty Pariso - I'm Standing Here, You Make The Move

Teenage Hangover

We changed our name and now it's not rubbish. Expect more posts by more people. Thnx.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Cult Ritual



I won't lie to you German indie kids out there, I like hardcore. Brutal fucking hardcore that makes children bleed from the ears like Clement from Torchwood did. Yes, you really just did read a sentence with the words 'hardcore' and 'Torchwood' in it. I'm not ashamed.

Cult Ritual are eponymously, according to the divine blog stratosphere, "Musically compared to Vladimir Mikhaylovich Komarov, the first man to die in outer space." I'd say this was a fraction of the real truth. Personally, I'd describe them as the musical equivalent of harvesting a Little Sister whilst shitting razorblades and gouging your eyes out with a sieve that contains a pinch of 'emotional bullshit'.

But that's exactly the kind of music I like to hear on hot, sweaty summer nights where you don't give a shit about what time you're in because you don't even know what day it is tomorrow, and Cult Ritual soundtrack those nights perfectly. Get yourself some khaki camo shorts, a navy blue hoody and sit outside at half 10 in a deckchair listening to this on your Poundland earbuds - summer will have a whole new meaning after hearing 'Horror Sale'.

Definitely recommended if you like: losing your sanity due to the humidity.

MP3: Cult Ritual - Horror Sale
BUY: Cult Ritual - S/T LP from YOUTHATTACK STORE

Monday, June 29, 2009

Pizza Taste: An Interview With Tubelord


On Tuesday 16th June 2009, Tubelord played a gig at a venue called The Cellars - a lovely little pub in Eastney, Portsmouth. Ed, Tom and their counterpart/assistant Leam had the pleasure of interviewing Tubelord before their epic gig. The meeting was arranged for 6, however both parties were late due to us getting lost and Tubelord fixing their bank payments, which set everything back a bit. However, several sitting-in-the-road-and-listening-to-soundcheck minutes later, they were welcomed in by the bright Face of Joe, and they felt priviledged as everyone else had to sit in the road still as we headed to Destination: Backstage - the pub's back garden and a couple of plastic chairs. Ed prepared his magical recording devices AKA Creative Zen MP3 players and the interview was GO.
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[Ed pulls out folded up scribbled down questions]
Joe: You’re the Artrocker dude! We did this interview with a guy from Artrocker and he just pulled out this shit stained folded up note of paper, and I read it and it just said our names at the top and then it just said the words “summer”, “winter”, “album” and “end”.

Tom: Did you all go to school together? I heard you all went to school with Tim and the guys from Colour [RIP]? How much have these guys had an influence on Tubelord at all? What are the main influences you draw upon when coming up with awesome tunes?
Dave: Right, straight up. The school thing, no, that’s not true.
Sean: We went to school together but we didn’t really know each other.
Dave & Sean: No we didn’t.
Dave: We met on a gay cruise, our dads were all cruising.
Joe: No, we all met at college, we were all in class A and class B.
Dave: We were totally class B.

Ed: At Hamptons last week you put on a pig mask and crawled through the audience wearing tights. Do you feel like you are a lot more confident now than say a year ago? I saw you last June at Joiners with Johnny Foreigner and you weren’t crawling in tights.
Sean: That’s a good point to be fair.
Dave: That is awesome, but you can’t do anything in Joiners, it’s way too hot. I was really bowled over by Venice Ahoy’s performance to be fair so I couldn’t really do anything to top them.
Tom: What’s with the pig mask?
Dave: It’s a George Orwell reference.
Ed: The guy on the shirt, right?
Dave: No that’s Oscar Wilde.
Sean: See, I got those two confused as well. 1984/Gay person.
Joe: Can I wear tights in general? Could one of us be wearing tights? But it’s all like “oi you’re wearing tights, you’re a prick!” but then everyone has a bit of banter and settles down, and it returns to normal conversation.
Dave: And a week later, everyone’s wearing tights, because it’s on Skins.
Joe: You know when your friend grows a moustache and then suddenly a couple of weeks later everyone’s like “yeah I’ve got a moustache”.
Dave: Colour all did that.
Sean: Apart from George.
Dave: Even Colour’s producer has a moustache.
Sean: That was a mean moustache.
Dave: And then there’s a club in Leeds called Moustache!
Joe: I’m jealous of girls, man. I have no upper lip hair.
Dave: I’ve kissed girls with more upper lip hair than you.

Tom: If Tubelord was a record label, what 3 bands would you sign?
Joe: Venice Ahoy, Marina and the Diamonds and Emmy The Great. [Looking into Tom’s camera] But I’m gonna open my mouth and you’re gonna speak them.


Tom: And if you were a record label, which record label would you be?
Sean: Extra Mile.
Dave: Is that just the question what is your favourite label and what are your favourite bands? Essentially it’s Witchita, Bloc Party, The Blood Brothers and Les Savy Fav.
Tom: No but we tried to move away from that stuff.
Dave: But that was essentially the same question. Like what 3 bands do you want to lick out the most?
[LAUGHS OR SOMETHING]
Joe: Hang on, did you say Extra Mile? Extra Mile are rubbish.
Ed: They have Dartz.
Tom: They have Frank Turner.

Sean: They have Lights Action.
Joe: There we go, next question.

Leam: What is it you say at the start of Death Of A Digital Alarm Clock?
Joe: I don’t say anything, it’s Colour’s Alan who screams it.
Leam: O RLY?
Joe: Yeah, he just says the name of the song.
Dave: Why are you listening to that song man? It’s so shit. Grow up.

Ed: Did you know that this is the first Not Ed’s Blog band interview? You’re making history. Would you like to mark the occasion by telling us your favourite Robert Downey Jr. film and why?
Dave: Awh, smooth. SMOOTH!
Sean: Can I put down Ally McBeal even though it’s not a film?
Ed: Is he in it?
Sean: Yeah.
Joe: Who’s Robert Downy Jr?
Tom: You don’t know who Robert Downy Jr. is?
Dave: Just say Iron Man. I’m gonna go for…
Sean: No, no! Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
Dave: Awh, that is awesome. But I’m gonna go for A Scanner Darkly cos I think that is a wicked film.
Ed: Isn’t he in that one with, umm…
Dave: Tropic Thunder? Where he’s black? That’s pretty cool!
Tom: Isn’t he in Brazil?
Sean: No, that’s Benicio Del Toro. I just made that up.
Ed: No, that’s Robert De Niro.
Tom: OH YEAH!

Sean: They’re quite different.
Sean: What about the three best Robert Downy Jr. films? Devil’s Advocate, Insomnia and…
Dave: Casino. Is he in that?
Joe: He’s Italian, he must be in that.
Sean: Scarface.
Leam: Al Pacino did that.
Sean: Did he? They’re the same person anyway, if we’re honest. He did do Insomnia though, with Robin Williams as a paedophile.
Dave: But that’s a beautiful question, well done.

Ed: You have recently been confirmed for Southsea Fest.
Joe: Yeah, we found out last week. You’re pretty up to date with these questions. The digital age! Yeah we're on the Meat Pie stage.
Dave: We're on Meat Pie? If you were in a meat pie, what vegetable would you be?
Ed: I’d just be a bit of meat.
Dave: Trick question; gravy.
Ed: Anyway, question was, are you looking forward to Southsea Fest?
Dave: Yes.
Ed: Who are you looking forward to seeing?
Joe: To be honest I have no idea who’s playing.
Ed/Tom: Tellison, This Town Needs Guns, Blakfish, Venice Ahoy, Shapes.
Joe: It’d be a lot more exciting if there was someone who I’d been listening to a lot recently who I hadn’t already seen live.
Tom: Beans on Toast?
Sean: They played 2000 trees last year didn’t they?
Joe: Yeah, with Frank Turner.
Tom: Munroe Effect. Do you know them? They’re from around here.
Dave: I’ve heard of them. Who do I wanna see?
Tom: There’s over 170 bands that are playing.
Sean: I could do with watching Tellison again to be honest. It’s been a bit of while since I’ve seen them.
Joe: So yeah, Southsea Fest looks pretty good.
Dave: If you’re asking me what bands I wanna see, I wanna see Mumford & Sons because apparently they’re really good live. I wanna see The Joy Formidable because I think they might be alright live.
Tom: They’re all the rage now apparently.
Joe: All the rage?
Tom: There’s been loads of blog stuff about them in the last two weeks. It’s gone PETCHEW! [raising hand gesture].
Sean: It’s cos they’ve got an album out.
Dave: No, they put it up for free in like February, and it’s taken that long. Free music takes ‘til Tuesday to come out.
[EVERYBODY LAUGH]
Joe: Why did you pick out Southsea Fest to talk about?
Ed: Cos we’re pretty much in Southsea now, it’s only down the road.
Dave: So I was wondering, is it like a big area with built stages or is it just like a venue?
Tom: It’s at venues, Wedgewood Rooms, Edge Of The Wedge.
Dave: What venue has Paul [Meat Pie Promotions] got then?
Ed: You’re playing at The One Eyed Dog, it’s like a student bar.

Dave: The next question is, there’s a band playing tomorrow night at Edge of the Wedge, who is it?
Ed/Tom: Adebisi Shank.
Dave/Joe: Ah, you’re going!
Ed/Tom: No we’re not, we can’t.
Dave/Joe: You should do it.
Joe: They’re only good live.
Dave: Yeah, completely.
Tom: Brontide are playing Southsea fest too.
Dave: Isn’t that the dude from La Roux? Did you know that? Will’s doing session drumming for La Roux.
Joe: THAT’S A ROCK FACT.
Dave: That’s how Brontide can afford their helicopter and sea plane.
Sean: Their sea plane is fucking amazing.
Tom: That’s awesome.
Dave: Yeah Brontide are wicked.
Joe: If you could be any member of Brontide, which one would you be?
Dave: One of their hairs.



Ed: What does a box of words taste like?
Joe: Pizza taste.
Dave: Built in a factory but using original ingredients.
Joe: Ah man we found a packet of crisps and the flavour was called Pizza taste.
Dave: They were actually like Romanian, but the thing is, you can tell that communism has only just left there because they were really proud that it was built, made in a factory with machines to make these crisps, and they’re really proud of that. But also they were proud that it was like a home cooked recipe as well. But it was Pizza taste.
Tom: How did they show you they were so proud?
Dave: In writing. But calling it Pizza taste, it was like PIZZA TASTE and it tasted like Wotsits but not as flavourful, more like packing foam. The thing is, the day we bought them, we were in Cheltenham helping Joe move out of uni and I did actually do a headstand in a box of packing foam, and if you had poured in the pizza taste ones, I wouldn’t have known the difference.
Ed: So, pizza taste.
Joe: HAHA, he’s just written down pizza taste, not your story. That was a complete waste of time, we may as well have done an online interview, it’s just gonna be that.

Leam: What’s the best gig of your lives? One that you’ve been to, and a Tubelord one.
Dave: A Tubelord gig and one that we’ve been to?
Dave: TONIGHT!
Sean: I haven’t been to quite a few Tubelord gigs.
Dave: Did you know though, before he joined, he was our biggest fan. He used to come to all of our gigs. But now his mum’s our biggest fan.
Tom: Did you have a commitment ritual?
Sean: Yeah they pretty much just raped me a little bit.
Dave: We played in Manchester with The Mae Shi. If you’ve ever been to this venue called The Deaf Institute - basically it’s the attic of a deaf institute, which is kind of a lecture theatre. Imagine the inside of a pyramid made of wood, so the sound is perfect, it was basically a small lecture theatre. Pretty small. We played there and the sound was incredible, at the end of ’I Am Azzerad’, like the “i’ll kill today, ill kill you Azerrad” like literally; I’m not joking it sounded like we were playing at a stadium. There was like 5 people singing along but the point was that it sounded to us like so many people were loving it, and me and Joe came off stage and we were like AHH. But other than that Brighton the other night. Brighton’s normally a bit hit or miss and then the other night it was mental. Just broken glass everywhere. And Oxford the other night. Basically when kids know how to drink the right amount - there’s drinking until you throw up and there’s drinking until you nearly throw up. You throw up after us, then you’re gonna be a good crowd but if you throw up before us then you’re just gonna go home.
Joe: There’s the shows we always do at the end of the year with Colour which obviously we’re not gonna do this year. You know we did that January tour at the start of the year with Colour and Calories, that tour was really satisfying simply because we were going out with our friends. That reinstated our faith in being a band.
Dave: That was quite a selfish tour that I think.

Joe: When I saw Deftones at Brixton academy, that was the first time I’d ever had that sort of experience where you look to someone on your right and they’re like “Ah you alright man?” “Yeah I’m alright!” “Sweet!”. That sort of thing like collective positivity. That was pretty special.
Dave: That almost happened the other night at Cursive in Leeds, I kept on going “how sick is this?” and he [Joe] was like “fuck off I’m watching Cursive leave me alone” - no positivity there at all, you [Joe] ruined that for me.
Sean: That was the best gig of my year, that was so fun.
Dave: Can I say Latitude Festival last summer cos that was like 100 good gigs over 3 days.
Ed: Why not!
Joe: "Why not, we’re not actually gonna transcribe it"
Dave: We’re just gonna write…
Sean: PIZZA TASTE MATE, PIZZA TASTE.

Tom: What is the best gig of your life? Pizza Taste?
Joe: When’s the album out? Pizza Taste?
Tom: Is it gonna be called Pizza Taste?
Joe: Yes.

Tom: There’s two album names floating around.
Joe: TWO?!
Dave: We have a choice now? Let’s do a vote, put it to the English public. What’re our options?
Tom: Our First American friends and The Library Of Fools.
Dave: Oh really? I see how that came about...
Sean: It’s Pizza Taste.
Tom: You do realise if we type that up there’ll be a lot of people going around saying “ITS PIZZA TASTE!”
Ed: We’re gonna start an internet rumour about it.

Sean: Oh please do. NEW ALBUM OUT: PIZZA TASTE DECEMBER 2010!
Dave: I’ll tell you what though Sean, the whole idea of doing the fake leak with a wrong name - if we confirm in this blog that the right name is the wrong name, then the one that we leak that isn’t actually our album then…
Joe: We were gonna leak Blakfish’s album...
Ed: Did you see it already got leaked?
Sean: Yeah I well downloaded it.
[LULZ ALL AROUND]
Sean: Yeah but then I gave it back.
Ed: Gave it back to the Internet.

Tom: The person responsible who leaked it has been arrested.
Sean: Was it that DV8 person?
Tom: Yeah, DV8.
Sean: ‘Cos that’s really pissing me off, I was like “ah they’re gonna fucking leak our album!”.
Dave: So she just gets sent everything? Does she suck dick for music?
Joe: How did you find out?
Tom: I know someone who talks to her.
Sean: Can we visit her in jail and bum her a bit?
Tom: The BPI is investigating her or something...
Sean: The British Petroleum Industry?
Dave: No way, petrol’s fucking everywhere.
Tom: She’s on bail.
Dave: WHAT’S FOR DINNER? [Dave smelt something]
Dave: Can we start a ‘get her out of jail’ thing?
[EPIC LAUGHTER]
Dave: “SAVE TAMZYN!”

Dave: You should’ve seen us at Sellidge Festival in Kent the other day! We were like “I don’t have any music for sale but if you go to this website then you can get it all for free, or buy it online, if you’re an idiot.”

Tom: There is someone who says they’ve heard your album.
Sean: Who?
Tom: Someone on some forum...
Sean: Oh the bloke on Last.Fm? Some tool on Last.Fm says he’s heard it but it’s not him.
Dave: We have played the album to a couple of people - promos have gone out.

Leam: So, being an independent musical band group...
Dave: WE’RE AN INDEPENDENT MUSICAL BAND GROUP? OH MAN I FUCKING LOVE THAT.
Sean: Can I read the rest of that?
“Being an independent musical band group, sales must be something you probably value, but in this day and age file sharing can have a big impact on this. What impact does the internet, its blogs, MP3s and Myspace pages had on Tubelord?
Dave: I’ll tell you what, that question is completely null and void because we haven’t sold any music over the internet, BSM [Big Scary Monsters] have, and do you think we’ve ever seen a single penny from BSM? He put up all our tunes on iTunes ages ago and keeps saying he’ll give it to us but never does.
Tom: What about the Huw Stephens thing? [Music Sounds Better With Huw]
Dave: We don’t know about that.
Joe: We only get about 7p a song.
Dave: It’s the thought that counts, it’s the fact that you’re not downloading it.
Tom: I only bought the Tubelord song from the Huw Stephens compilation, I should buy it all really.
Dave: Mate, for a fiver you’d be an idiot not to, like how many good bands are on it? It’s really good. Or I’ll just send you the link.

Leam: Not Ed’s Blog has some awesome German indie kid readers, would you mind sharing some musical recommendations with them and us?
Joe: German indie kids? Wow.
Dave: Tell them The Notwist, that will blow their minds.
Joe: Pavement.
Dave: Sonic Youth.
Sean: David Hassellhoff.
Joe: Yeah Yeah Yeah’s.
Sean: Regina Spector.
Joe: reGINA Spector, hehehe.
Dave: Tell them to listen to Sam Isaac, his album is awesome.
Sean: Luke Leighfield!
Dave: Sean hates Sam Isaac but me and Joe love his album. But he [Sean] can’t stand it and then he’ll go “OH YEAH LUKE LEIGHFIELD” but he’s just awful.
Sean: I watched his Russian tour diary and at the end I was like YOU’RE REALLY ARROGANT.
Dave: He ruined my birthday.
Joe: Aurora Alberta Advantage.
Dave: Dark Mean.
Joe: Picture Books In Winter and Josh Ritter.
Dave: And The Mae Shi obviously.

Ed: You played with them [The Mae Shi] and Abe Vigoda in London in May, what was that like?
Dave: Not as good as Manchester.
Ed: Oh?
Dave: And Birmingham too.
Tom: Are they cool dudes?
Joe: Yeah The Mae Shi are well sound and so are Abe Vigoda.
Dave: They’ve got really different perspectives, but American music is about 10 years ahead, so they’re kinda like Yoda’s - they’re really wise.
Joe: They’re completely different though; Abe Vigoda are like “Thanks very much man, thanks thanks thanks” and The Mae Shi are like “Yeah.”
Dave: But if you get into chat with them it’s weird because obviously we’re massive fans so it was strange like that, but it was also like we got to know them last year and then this year it was like we actually got to know them properly and play a few shows, and outside Birmingham just as they were about to leave and go off to Europe, we had proper deep chats and hugs and it was like “aw they actually like us this is so cool” and then they gave us loads of their 7”s and we felt really rich, like “wow, we can put these on eBay!”. But it was cool chatting to Bill? The bassist I think? Cos he was like “It’s completely different to how it is in England, like here you’re in your main band and that’s it and you’re really poor and you do it the whole time and you accept the fact that you never have any money”, But he also said “In America, The Mae Shi, the royalties from that basically pay for me to be in other bands”, and pay his rent cos it's really cheap where he lives, and then the rest of the time when he’s not in The Mae Shi he just plays in all these other bands with his mates and just pisses about as a musician.

Tom: So after you’ve dominated The Top 40 and toured your album around the universe, what do you plan to do?
Joe: Totally gonna happen.
Dave: Recruit Phil Collins as a song writer.
Joe: We have a sick poster of him in the van. His trousers are basically towels, with zip pockets, and he’s got a brandy.
Tom: That is a Royal Mail post van right?
Dave: Yeah yeah yeah.
Leam: Yeah, we could see it’s got the stickers steamed off.
Joe: Yeah, shut up.
Dave: Like anyone can afford a new one of them! They’re like tens of thousands of pounds.
Joe: We’ve given ourselves an aim though; to have the second album written and ready to record upon the release of the first album. So this summer is going to be writing. We’re already two songs done.
Tom: So is it [the debut album] coming out in the summer?
Dave: No, you don’t release albums in the summer, that’s the golden rule.
Tom: Really?
Joe: Yeah, apparently in the music industry you don’t release albums in the summer because it’s festival season.
Dave: ...and journalists are too busy getting drunk, like they are the rest of the year, but apparently having a hangover and a sunburn is not a good time to write reviews, whereas having just a hangover is fine to write a review.

Ed: When are you releasing it? [the debut album]
Joe: October I think.
Dave: Pencilled in for 5th October.

Ed: What label are you releasing it on?
Joe: We’re not sure yet. We’re in the long form process, which means they send you a short form, and then it extends to a long form.
Dave: The short form is literally a page and goes “We would like to release your album. These are the terms” and goes “it will be for four albums” and all these things. And then the two lawyers look at each other and they have a little staring contest and whoever loses has to buy the other lunch. And then from that they make an 80 page contract, which they get paid loads of money to write.
Joe: But you’ll know very soon, within the next week who we’re releasing it on.

The rest of this conversation consisted of Tom talking about his home-made Mika Miko glasses and a bit more about pizza taste. Then we went to the corner shop to buy sweets.

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Also, I took some pictures at the gig, one of them is the one at the top, which is was their Last.fm default which is awesome. Another is below in the interview. Say how much you love them on my Flickr. Also, my dad took some pictures at the gig on a proper camera, he doesn't have a Flickr or anything yet but he will do soon.

MP3: Tubelord - Obstacles

Monday, June 8, 2009

run,WALK!


Anyone already familiar with Winchester duo run,WALK! will know that their earlier recordings had failed somewhat at doing their live performances justice. The band's new recordings are definitely a step up. They recorded their tracks "Time Is Catching Up With Me" and "3, 5, 10" with Jamie Field (who has recorded with Colour and Tubelord previously) and Alan Welsh (Guitar/vox in Colour) last December, initially intending to release them both on 7", however they now have something much more exciting planned for them.

These tracks show run,WALK!'s true potential. In just two songs, using only a drumkit and bass, they show signs of experimenting with different styles; the drums at the start of "Time Is Catching Up With Me" have an almost jazzy feel to them. They then burst into mathrock induced offbeat signature changes, whereas in "3, 5, 10" they show the same styles previously mentioned, but this time squeezing in some noise with an epic ending of yelping vocals and some immense pedal use.

MP3: run,WALK! - Time Is Catching Up With Me

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

WEEKLY AWESOME - #3

#1 Shield Your Eyes album for cheap

Everyone loves Colour and Shoes and Socks Off, but not that many people know of the other musical project that was born after MMISL split; Shield Your Eyes. It consists of Toby Hayes (previously provided vocals in MMISL), Eddy Grimes and Stef Ketteringham. I'm really not capable of describing them so I'll steal this from Last.fm - "indescribable punky post-hardcore loud noisy beasty guitar riffs in melodic lo-fi beautiful ways with grinding time changes". Anyway, They're selling their album cheap. I didn't even know SYE had an album so it was a nice suprise when I heard that they are selling the album cheaper in order to get rid of it for when they get their new album in. Get it off their Myspace on CD (£5) or vinyl (£6), or preferably both.

MP3: Shield Your Eyes - Come On Melissa Are You A Kisser

#2 Music Sounds Better With Huw
Everyone knows that Huw Stephens is the guy for new music. The people at Witchita seem to know this more than anyone, as they have got him to put together a new compilation, entitled Music Sounds Better With Huw. As if the title isn't reason enough to purchase it from iTunes, it also plays host to bands like Tubelord, Dinosaur Pile-Up, Pulled Apart By Horses, Calories and Gentle Friendly. Protip: The Tubelord track is new! "Somewhere Out There A Dog Is On Fire" is classic Tubelord, and (probably) an album track from their d├ębut album about which we know very little. However, we may know more in a few weeks because me and my fellow blogger Tom will be interviewing Tubelord at their Portsmouth tour date! Will be fun.

#3 run,WALK!/Battle For Paris tour
Just a quick one. Winchester mathy noisepop duo run,WALK! are touring with post-hardcore dudes Battle For Paris in July. They haven't got all the dates sorted yet so if yr a promoter, put them on, and if you are not a promoter then go to see them.

#4 Dublin Duck Dispensary & Andy's Airport Of Love

Irish noisepopper Dublin Duck Dispensary is giving his newest EP "Yykes Basket" away for free via Rack & Ruin Records. Get it here.

There's a few more free releases there, including a tape by Andy's Airport of Love. I downloaded "Actually, I am Sasha Fierce" on the off chance that I might like it based on a statement that said they sounded like a poppier version of Blank Dogs. I checked it out and I was pleasantly suprised. They have that distinct pop through a lo-fi filter sound but with a little extra charm, a bit of shoegazing in their blood. Plus the introduction to the tape is real odd. Go get it for free here.

MP3: Andy's Airport of Love - Duquesne Incline

#5 Alcopopular 3 released in bottle format
In an attempt to create a resurgence in people buying music physically again, Alcopop have created something brilliant. "Basically, it’s a cute glass bottle, all branded Alcopopular, within which resides ye olde treasure map (hand ‘tea-bagged’ er..., scrumpled and oven baked) with links to your audio booty". It costs £5 and was released yesterday. The compilation contains bands like Pulled Apart By Horses and Tellison, as well as a host of other bands from the Alcopop roster. Buy it here.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

BARR


I think short hair gets the chicks these days but I'm not sure. I have a feeling if I take the plunge to shave my head people are going to think I'm weird.

But then again I'm not in BARR - a four-piece-formerly-solo-project-band fronted by founder Brendan Fowler (a man who may just be the center of hipster garabe in New York City) who play rather bouncy, poppy, tight-bass tambourine-filled tunes accompanied by some of the most strangely addicting vocals I've heard all year. The key to BARR is that they don't sing, they talk. I'm not even really a fan of spoken word, but this is totally awesome. Brendan's lyrics, in his own words, are about 'being super fucking stressed out, broken and angry' - 'totally violent, totally grabby. Huggy, totally pushy-pully punchy,' and I couldn't have put it better myself. I would rather like to hug him, as he would rather like to hold someone. I think it would feel good, man.

Think of them as those conversations you have with yourself late at night in your room, possibly at like 2 in the morning, where you think about all the stuff you've done in the past year, or how you regret messing things up with that one girl you'll always be in love with, with three people (probably dressed in brightly-colored XS tees and shorts) playing interpretations of Wavves songs minus the feedback. It's a bit complex, but like, really excitng, and radical, and all those words.

You can get the new album 'Summary' from iTunes, or check out a tune below.

MP3: BARR - The Song Is The Single
BUY: BARR - Summary CD from Amazon

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Snakeosaurus Rex


Steve reporting in. Today I'm writing a review of a band with a radical name: Snakeosaurus Rex.

On top of having a pretty cool name they also have some pretty crunchy tunes. Their new LP "Rhino" feels well thought out, and although not leaving you on the edge of your seat it's a solid 9 songs. The main influence for this album's sound isn't subtle; the whole album has an early Minus the Bear feel about them (a good thing as the early MtB work is their best). However they also incorporate elements of bands like American Football and The Appleseed Cast.

As you would expect their songs are basically made up of two angular guitar lines, stopping and starting then eventually layering to create catchy and emotion filled choruses. The singing is also not very disimilar to MtB's Jake Snider but with somewhat more edge (seen in song "Paved with Gold Pt. 2"); nearly harmonious, emotion filled with stretched syllables. All this equates to create a strangely chilled out sound.

They do show some good variety throughout the album, tracks like "Snake Killer" being more upbeat, contrasted by the more soft and deep tones of "Vodka". Those who struggle to listen to MtB may find this album difficult to swallow, but I'd definitely recomend giving it a try anyway as its an impressive first album.

MP3: Snakeosaurus Rex - Fireload

Friday, May 22, 2009

WEEKLY AWESOME - #2

Okay so it hasn't been very "weekly", maybe it's bi-weekly. But it's that time of the week/bi-week again.

1# - Situationists split up.
This happened a few weeks ago but I've only just found out and you probably didn't know either, but Sheffield lovelies Situationists have broken up! I got sent their EP but never got round to writing about it. But it was full of quality tunes. They recorded a cover of Digital Love by Daft Punk, they made a version of the song that I'd actually listen to. Ouch. But yeah they split up now which is a shame but here's the cover.

Mediafire: Situationists - Digital Love

#2 - The Muscle Club have a sale.
Cardiff gang The Muscle Club have got some shirts and vinyl on their Bigcartel, it's a bit cheaper. I bought a vinyl. You should too, but do it quickly because I don't think they have many left. I know this isn't really news but cheap vinyl is always good.

MP3: The Muscle Club - Damn These Circumstances

#3 - Rapturefest 3 announce new bands.
Rapture Promotions have just announced 4 more additions to their already epic line-up for Rapturefest 3. It now features Talons, Blakfish, The Tupolev Ghost and Mutiny On The Bounty, alongside already the announced This Town Needs Guns, Mimas, itch, Pennines, Youves, Brontide, Instruments (Make Music), The Great Eskimo Hoax and Venice Ahoy. Wow. It takes place at The Face Bar in Reading on 15th August. More info on their Myspace and the Last.fm event.

#4 - Dark Mean give away free EP.

Canadian 3-piece Dark Mean remind me of Tokyo Police Club, because of the bursts of synth and definitely the vocals, cos their both Canadian. I'm told they sound like The Postal Service too. It's got lots of folky bits too, a bit different to the normal stuff we post (basically just math and noise), but this EP is pretty good, and free. Head over to their website and get it.

MP3: Dark Mean - frankencottage


Wish I could find more news.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Patrick Wolf @ Wedgewood Rooms


After what has seemed like an eternity of having heard the name Ken's Fried Chicken (mostly via seeing the thousands of flyers that would come through my nan's letterbox), I finally had the pleasure of dining there. And what better time to try it than after a Patrick Wolf gig? Acutally it's a rather strange time, but I was none-the-less amazed when I saw their slogan was "Finger licken goodness". The only other chicken-related story that could compete with that was when I went to a real KFC after a Tubelord gig. Someone had written "chicen" on one of those charity donation boxes. There was something about how it looked and sounded that was so ridiculous and entertaining. Anyway, enough about chic(k)en.

We got to Wedgewood Rooms and picked up our tickets. There were quite a few people there, quite a high percentage of teenage girls. Saw a film teacher from my college as well as who I thought and still think was Max from Hollyoaks. The guy who got ran over, sucker. A few wierdos and guys in drag, but it wouldn't be a Patrick Wolf gig without at least one guy in drag would it?


[Photo of Yacht by Mattatoio Culture Club]

The support came from American duo Yacht, who's music seemed to be coming from nowhere, as their performance was more like a dance show or something. They still did the vocals on the music, and their dancing was in time with all the little parts in their music, was pretty interesting. Midway through their set they asked if the audience had any questions, some girl asked if they liked bananas. They said yes, picked up a banana from a table on stage and gave it to her. Weird. Their music was pretty basic programmed electronic stuff, but the music was only part of their performance, emphasising their choreographed stage movements and vocals. If they were supporting at any other gig it wouldn't have gone down so well, but because it was Patrick, people were expecting something a bit different from the support.

At around 10.20 Patrick Wolf came out wearing a red zip-up outfit with boxes on his shoulders and his forehead painted red. He and his band played a handful of classics including "Bluebells", "Tristan" and "The Libertine" (my highlight of the evening), as well as about a third of the tracks from his new album The Bachelor. Tracks like "Oblivion" and "Battle" went down very popular with the audience, and during the latter he was standing on the barrier commanding people to dance, and at this moment a herd of blokes appeared from nowhere and were jumping like it was an Enemy gig. Also, throughout his set there was a man who was basically moshing to him playing his ukulele. He had a bowler hat on and a very long, wet moustache which continually whipped me in the face. After a while Patrick started to actually talk between songs, and then he wouldn't stop talking, asking girls in the front row who they liked the most in Eurovision and how he wanted to run for it next year.

He returned for an encore of "Vulture" and a re-worked version of "The Magic Position" which seemed to emphasise the guitar chords over the violin/keyboard riff wearing this green leafy outfit thing, I think it's supposed to be a vulture but looks more like a tree. His set ended at about 11.40 which is really late of Wedgewood Rooms, and we got the Ken's Fried Chicken that a wrote a whole paragraph about and went home. What a rubbish review. Blame it on swine flu.

MP3: Yacht - The Summer Song (Feat. Claire L. Evans)
BUY: Yacht - I Believe In You, Your Magic Is Real. CD
MP3: Patrick Wolf - Hard Times
BUY: Pre-order Patrick Wolf - The Bachelor CD